Posts Tagged ‘Fe-Mail! Fe-beta3! The Dude! Dude! Dancer! Girl! Morals’

Fe-beta3!

2009/06/18

Fe-beta3!
The trails and tribulations of being a Good, Very Good Egyptian Sucker!
“Brought to you by Sony!”


First, you need to know me well before you read the article or whatever! My name, you know it! Don’t you?! I was born in “Berket Al-Sab3”, and this is a very special place in Egypt because it combines two amazing things, a beast of prey along with a pond! My father is originally from “Be2r Sab3” which is a very special place in Palestine, you know, it combines two amazing things, a water well and a beast of prey too. That is why my friends are always calling me “Sab3 Ibn Sab3”. LOL! I am funny, ain’t I?

In 2002, I have been graduated and I had to move to Cairo to work there. My biggest problem was my principles that were totally different from Cairo’s guys. Actually, I did not like the dudes in Cairo, they forgot how a man should act like. I have tried my best to adopt with their silly principles and I guess I am almost there. Everything has a beginning, so my story! I am wise, ain’t I?!

I am working at a real estate company. All people who have been grown up in the city are different from me! Just want to let you know that most of my colleagues have brought up in Wales and North Ireland. I have tried my best to adopt with their culture and intellectual backgrounds, but every time something holds me back. I should act like I have used to, otherwise I will bring the shame to the old “Sab3”.

I am feeling down because my performance in the work was not too good. I really need to do something new! Suddenly, one of my colleagues comes to me asking why I look so sad. I have told him the truth, then he started laughing and said: “Dude! You need to do something new!”. SHIT! How did he know? I have stared at him for a while, I had no clue how he did know. He smiled at me and said: “Let’s go to a disco”!

Disco? Why not? I need to do something new, so there is no need for another bid! I have agreed immediately. I have dressed my favorite dress, I am sure that I am going to dazzle some sweet girls! WOHO! I am ENERGETIC!

Some noisy music with a regular tone, all people are shaking their heads and bodies like genies. This is pretty similar to the Sufi regimes. OH MY! This girl right there! I have never seen a black lady who dances like a white lady! She is shaking her hips like a professional! Goodness me! This move beats all Shakira ones. I really need to know this girl, she turns me on.

I move forward for a few steps, I sweat like I am walking in August, 12 PM! I look at her like an idiot, she looks at me wondering why I act like a fool. She says:
– “Hey boy, do I turn you on?!”
SHIT! How did she know? This girl seems to be a real professional. The words stuck in my throat! I find no words to express how I feel toward her!

Before I go on, I just want to let you know how my father has a great influence on me and my behavior in general. My father has been everything to me, he has taught me how to be a good man with morals and principles. Before I move to Cairo, he has warned me not to fall in the love of a whore. Now, I understand why he has warned me of this. Here, it seems that Al-Sab3 Ibn Al-Sab3 is going to fall in love with a dancer, in case I am fortunate enough.

She stares at me while I cannot utter a word. She holds my hands and looks at me asking:

“Do you want to kiss me right now?”!

I look to here straight in the eyes. DAMN! Although she looks like an old shoe, she is not too bad. She comes closer, I can smell her breath. Ugggh! Her mouth smells like onions. I am trying to run away, but she grabs me, getting closer, closer! I am almost passed out.

She kisses me, even her lips taste bad. She looks at me, start dancing once again. OH MY! I cannot resist her moves while she is dancing. She knows how to seduce me. I get closer, I really feel like dancing… BUT, NO! I will never dance, because I am a dude! I should not shake my hips like Shakira. She looks at me “the girl not Shakira”, waiting me to ask her for a dance.

Dude! You are at a disco and you do not want to dance! Fuck Berket Al-Sab3 and fuck my father’s lessons! For some reason this part of the story reminds me of some movie for Yousef Shaheen. I start dancing, in spite of me, I dance! She looks at me, laughing and saying “here we are, my boy”! She holds my hands and start shaking every small part of her body. My shoulders are moving like a jelly. What the fuck?! Some dude comes from behind, holds her shoulders and kisses her! NO! I will never let this happens to my girl, get prepared for what the Berket Al-Sab3 dude will do!

To be continued…

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